Don’t you sometimes wish you could take on a different persona and say the things you think, but don’t want to admit to in public? … Me, too! From time to time, you’ll find postings here from a guest writer with the nom de plume Gabby McStick. Take whatever she says with a grain of salt, but remember: there’s truth in there somewhere. Here’s her first submission: a couple of letters she’d like to send to some of those in the travel industry and an announcement of her nomination for an airline Oscar.
BY GABBY McSTICK
Dear Fly-Away Airline:
I recently was on a flight from LA to Minneapolis. The flight took four hours, but seemed longer, possibly because I had six inches of leg room, a small bladder and two corpulent, drowsy strangers between me and the aisleway to the bathroom. From Minneapolis, I took yet another flight to Columbus, Ohio. This flight took a little over an hour and was half full. I was spared the inconvenience of seatmates and had approximately two feet of space in which to taxi to the aisle to begin my flight to the facilities. Is there a reason for such blatant misappropriation of your flying machines?
Your friend,
Gabby McStick
Dear Incognito Airport:
Is your airport a joke? Have you ever heard the term signage? I'm told it's a serious business, the intent of which is to assist those unfamiliar with a place to find their way around. I can only assume that, although your clientele consists of folks from such far flung reaches as Zimbabwe and Bangladesh, you somehow assume that having deplaned into the balmy paradise of Southern California, they're miraculously gifted with a sixth sense that guides them on their quest to change planes or pick up checked luggage or meet their eager hosts. Good luck with that!
Your friend,
Gabby McStick
Dear airlines of America:
Sorry! The Oscar for the most fetching safety video goes to New Zealand Air for the delivery of their pre-flight message via inhabitants of Middle Earth ... And for their in-air entertainment system that actually works and can be operated by those lacking advanced degrees in touch screen technology ... And for their nod to service even to those in the back of the bus (so to speak) with on-screen ordering of food and drink delivered to your seat whenever you hunger or thirst during the long dark night. Take note, all the rest of you.
Your friend,
Gabby McStick
BY GABBY McSTICK
Dear Fly-Away Airline:
I recently was on a flight from LA to Minneapolis. The flight took four hours, but seemed longer, possibly because I had six inches of leg room, a small bladder and two corpulent, drowsy strangers between me and the aisleway to the bathroom. From Minneapolis, I took yet another flight to Columbus, Ohio. This flight took a little over an hour and was half full. I was spared the inconvenience of seatmates and had approximately two feet of space in which to taxi to the aisle to begin my flight to the facilities. Is there a reason for such blatant misappropriation of your flying machines?
Your friend,
Gabby McStick
Dear Incognito Airport:
Is your airport a joke? Have you ever heard the term signage? I'm told it's a serious business, the intent of which is to assist those unfamiliar with a place to find their way around. I can only assume that, although your clientele consists of folks from such far flung reaches as Zimbabwe and Bangladesh, you somehow assume that having deplaned into the balmy paradise of Southern California, they're miraculously gifted with a sixth sense that guides them on their quest to change planes or pick up checked luggage or meet their eager hosts. Good luck with that!
Your friend,
Gabby McStick
Dear airlines of America:
Sorry! The Oscar for the most fetching safety video goes to New Zealand Air for the delivery of their pre-flight message via inhabitants of Middle Earth ... And for their in-air entertainment system that actually works and can be operated by those lacking advanced degrees in touch screen technology ... And for their nod to service even to those in the back of the bus (so to speak) with on-screen ordering of food and drink delivered to your seat whenever you hunger or thirst during the long dark night. Take note, all the rest of you.
Your friend,
Gabby McStick
RSS Feed